Planning a surprise proposal or just want to gift your partner the perfect ring? One of the biggest challenges is figuring out not just their ring size, but also their engagement ring style—without tipping them off. From secret snooping to casual conversations, there are plenty of ways to gather the information you need. Here’s how to secretly find out your partner’s engagement ring style (and size!), so you can plan your proposal or gift with confidence.
Borrow a Ring They Already Wear
One of the easiest ways to find out your partner’s ring size is to borrow a ring they already wear. Make sure it’s a ring they wear on the same finger you’re planning to buy for, such as their ring finger. Once you have the ring, you can either take it to a jeweler to check the size, or order a mandrel sizing tool online.
Pro Tip: Be cautious about how long you borrow the ring. If your partner wears it every day, make sure to return it quickly so they don’t notice it’s missing. Consider borrowing it when they’re asleep or when they take it off to shower or wash their hands.
Snoop on Pinterest or Instagram
If your partner has Pinterest or Instagram saved posts, there’s a good chance they’ve saved ideas for engagement rings they love. Sneak a peek at their boards or saved photos for clues about their preferred ring styles—think stone shapes, metal types, or even settings they’ve bookmarked.
Pro Tip: Look for trends in what they save. Are they drawn to classic solitaire diamonds, or are they into more colorful gemstones like emeralds or sapphires?
Enlist the Help of a Friend or Family Member
If you’re not comfortable trying to figure out the ring size or style on your own, enlist the help of someone close to your partner—like a friend or family member. They might already know your partner’s preferences or can casually bring it up in conversation without raising suspicion. This way, you get the information you need without doing any sneaky work yourself.
Pro Tip: Choose someone who can keep a secret and who is unlikely to accidentally spill the beans. Make sure they understand the importance of keeping the surprise under wraps!
Compare Your Partner’s Ring to Your Own Finger
If you have access to a ring your partner wears but don’t want to take it out of the house, try this clever trick. Slip the ring onto one of your own fingers and see how far down it goes. Then, mark that spot on your finger with a pen or remember which part of your finger it fits. You can then go to a jeweler and have them measure your finger at that spot to determine your partner’s ring size. This method isn’t as accurate, but will give you a general idea.
Pro Tip: If you’re worried about remembering the exact spot, take a photo of the ring on your finger. This will help you convey the size more accurately to the jeweler.
Casually Ask in a Fun Way
If you’re not worried about giving away the surprise entirely, you can try asking your partner about their ring preferences in a playful, nonchalant way. For example, you could pretend you’re buying a ring for a friend and need to know their size or favorite style for comparison. Or, you could joke about getting “couples rings” and see if they offer up the information.
Pro Tip: Make sure the conversation feels light and casual, so your partner doesn’t suspect anything. This method is best used well before the actual proposal or gifting event to keep them off guard.
Go on a Ring Shopping “Date”
The next time you’re out shopping, casually suggest walking by a jewelry store. You can make it seem like you’re just window shopping, but pay close attention to the rings they show interest in. If you’re lucky, they might even point out the exact style they love. You can also learn about lab grown gemstones together, which offer a beautiful and sustainable alternative to traditional stones. This way, you’re getting the information you need while also making it feel like a spontaneous, enjoyable experience.
Pro Tip: If they try on any rings “for fun,” make a mental note of the details. The style, metal, and gemstone they gravitate towards can be huge clues for you.
Ask Their Opinion on a Friend’s Ring
One subtle way to gauge your partner’s taste is to ask their opinion about a friend’s or celebrity’s engagement ring. Show them a picture and ask, “What do you think of this style?” Their answer could give you clues about what they’re drawn to—whether they like big stones, minimalist designs, or colored gemstones.
Pro Tip: Keep it casual so it doesn’t feel like a serious interrogation. Make it seem like a spontaneous conversation.
Enlist the Help of a Jewelry Expert
If you’re still unsure about what style your partner would love, visit a jeweler for expert advice. Provide the jeweler with the clues you’ve gathered—whether it’s a photo of their current jewelry, their saved Pinterest board, or notes from a friend—and ask for recommendations. Jewelers are great at spotting trends and can help you pick the perfect ring.
Pro Tip: Consider bringing along a trusted friend who knows your partner’s taste for an extra set of eyes.
